


He should be sleeping

by sunnyFlorist



Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: Eventual Relationships, Feelings, Friends to Lovers, Insomnia, M/M, park Jinwoo | Jin Jin-centric
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-13
Updated: 2019-02-11
Packaged: 2019-07-11 22:50:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15982175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunnyFlorist/pseuds/sunnyFlorist
Summary: Park Jinwoo is usually a heavy sleeper, and drifts away easily at the moment of contact with his pillow. Despite this, his eyes will not close on particular nights. Likewise, Eunwoo accepted the offer to act in a drama at the peak of their promotion period.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this beginning of a story I had in mind, but I didn't really do anything with it. If people like it I might continue it.

Jinwoo sank down to a cool seat in their dorm couch, sleeplessness burning the corners of his eyes. He was by himself, as the other members had retreated to their rooms, lulled away by the brooding nightly hours. If he tuned out, soft breathing could be heard through the paper-thin walls. They had bullied past him on their way through the doorway to toss away their restricting chlotes and pass out in their mildly comfortable bunk-beds. The passing day had felt like a week, bearing heavy on the lids that separates him from reality when he rests his head against his pillow. He yawned and stretched, reaching for the closest book on the coffee table. The smell of fresh paper brushed his face as he flipped through the pages, petting his cheeks with a cool waft of air. These days they barely have time for anything; no room for breathing in their compact schedule, squeezing them for all they are worth and spending them as if they are in limited supply. Events planned with minutes in margin made going to the bathroom a privilege and a burden. Meanwhile, the book remained as a monument to their busy lives, untouched at the center of the white surface by the couch in their living room.

He felt the whispers of the pillowcase and soft mattress behind the door to his left, yet something restrained him, ordered him to stay in this realm of reality instead of drifting away for a few silent inviting hours that they all needed, and he especially needed it for himself. He wanted it, yet he just could not force it upon his unwilling body, and ended up in this dark room alone, only illuminated by the cold blue light from his phone screen, jumping between the unchanging messaging app and the home page. his eyes stung in the contrast between his unclear surroundings and the harsh colours the screen was displaying. It boldly read out "02:13 AM". A quick glance is cast towards the main door behind him from over the back of the couch. Seeping from his lips, a sigh flutters through the room as he slouches forward again, supporting his elbows against the knees he brought up in front of him. Hesitantly, a hand is moved up and he ruffles his own hair before throwing his head back and slumping against the back of the couch. He pulls his hand through his strands one last time, before breathlessly throwing out into the air, heavy and with closed eyes "seriously..."


	2. 03:45

An enveloping feeling stirred him. First slightly cool, but quickly warming as it settled on top of him in a heavy fall, assuring though not belligerent. Jinwoo’s eyelids were seemingly glued shut like a bird newly hatched, and in the fashion of a newborn animal he propped himself up to face the world on the unworn springs of their living room couch. With the upward movement of his chest, what was covering him slumped down to hug his stomach, curling up together and leaving his upper body feeling cold. As he cracked his shutters open, he saw the younger man turning to face him. The tall body was contained by a bulky coat, clean cut, raindrops adorning the collar, and with fabric shielding him all the way down to his knees.  
  
“Oh, I didn’t mean to wake you.” the younger man spoke. Habitually he moved to discard his outer wear at the other end of the room, hanging it neatly at its intended spot among the plethora of other garments, all in a wide spectrum of colors brightening up their living space. “Why did you return so late?” Jinwoo smoothed his eyelids with the back of his hand as he asked. Looking down, he quickly recognized the familiar pattern of his bedroom covers. The screen of his phone read 03:45 am. “We were finishing up the last scenes of the drama I am starring in. It took a lot longer than expected, but now it’s all wrapped up.” Somewhat of a smile shone through at the last sentence, in contrast to the tiredness titivating his eyes. Jinwoo was looking onto him with a fairly loaded chest; the man was trudging the floor of the apartment to change his clothes, preparing to utilize the few hours left till dawn, in hopes of lightening the weight he felt had been placed onto his forehead throughout the day. He felt a need to push out the words that had been stuck in his throat for the longest time.

“Hey. You know, we are all very proud of you.” Unable to hold his gaze at Eunwoo, he let it falter a bit, in some way defeated by his own challenge. He felt his core heating up rather unexpectedly as he realized he had a harder time expressing himself than he would like to believe, as a man who would easily let himself be burdened by other people’s feelings as they came to him. At one point he had realized himself to be the type of person people easily opened up to, and he had experienced many times to be approached for emotional guidance.  
  
The younger’s head turned, revealing widened eyes with a tinge of bewilderment. His lips were shaped in such a way that one could tell he wanted to move them, yet no words came out as he stood there scratching his head, nonplussed.  
“Thank you” It finally came after a period of silence. He remained awkwardly standing, unknowing if there was more to the conversation, his position revealing a desire to leave through the door he was leaning against as his posture was oozing with the taste of discomfort. Despite this, Jinwoo repositioned himself on the couch, gesturing for the younger to get seated in the newly opened space. Sinking into its rigid fabric, soft to the touch despite being barely worn and still heated from the weight of Jinwoo’s body, Eunwoo’s face seemed to relax. His gaze was floating towards another end of the room, hands hanging loosely rested against his thighs. A string in the room had somehow been tightened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I am writing my Astro fic, I turn to my right, where I see my astro poster with all the members looking at me with a “Dude, are you for real” expression on their faces. Especially Eunwoo looks like he doesn’t approve of my writing.
> 
> On a serious note, I decided to continue this fanfiction, though the uploading schedule will be irregular since I prioritize schoolwork. Also, since honesty is key, I have some trouble with concentration and motivation, so if I haven’t updated in a long time, you know why. If you have been waiting for a long time for an update, please pester me about it because there is a good chance I’m in bed doing nothing and lack the motivation to get up.


	3. Chapter 3

“Actually… how are you doing?” Jinwoo’s voice sounded casual yet loaded. The younger’s back was rigid, with a considerable amount of space between the fabric of the couch and his loose shirt. He seemed to churn the fleeting words inside his head for a while before letting them out, leaving Jinwoo’s questioning look to stay on his face for a while. It was in no way interrogative, rather concerned, leaving the older man’s airbrushed features unstrained and with a truthful flavor to their nuances.

“Honestly, I’ve been tired lately. But I knew when I accepted the offer, I wasn’t going to do this for fun.” A seriousness tinted Eunwoo's tone as he spoke. Strangely, his gaze flickered toward Jinwoo for only a short second, yet he did not seem nervous. Rather, he appeared very sure with his words. “It was such a great opportunity as well. If I turned it down, I definitely would have regretted it. It’s hard to find a role like that without much of a tracklist.” he continued. Jinwoo seemed conflicted at this. Hesitation pursed his lips before he responded.

“I think it’s great that you’re getting work, really, and I’m not alone on that. But you should take care of your health.” He gestured his hand against Eunwoo’s shirt, who tousled lightly against his frame at that, slowly settling.

“I’m glad that you are worried, hyung. Really, but I’m fine.” Hesitantly, he seemed yearning to say more, but he held his tongue. Slack hands tightened and were brought together, impatiently picking at the skin around his nails, gaze flickering towards the bedroom door.

“… Really?“ Jinwoo seemed to notice his restlessness, but kept dragging on his words. “Did you eat?” The room felt unexplainably chocked as the syllables lingered. The younger’s gaze had yet to fall on Jinwoo, but instead kept floating around the room aimlessly.

“Uuuh…” he stretched his lips unpleasantly as he finally turned to the older.

“Sit tight” Jinwoo tapped his shoulder as he got up to move towards the kitchen.

The fluorescent lights above the counter abruptly blinked on with a humming sound. Light cast weakly at the back of Eunwoo’s head, leaving him gradually relaxing the muscles of his back to the sound of rustling and running water, and the scuffling of feet against the parquet.

A warm bowl was brought in front of him, and the couch dipped as Jinwoo let himself fall into a seat again. He threw an arm tightly across the back, opposite of the younger, silently looking off at the abandoned street outside behind the glare from the kitchen light, body awkwardly tense. The peace was much appreciated by the other as he tentatively picked up the glazed wooden sticks placed across the rounded ceramic. Somehow the silence aided by the chopsticks clacking against the bowl was restful, and the older relaxed his grip on the couch. He allowed himself to glance over when they had come to a rest, though he then had to turn his body fully. An expression of contrasting emotions on Eunwoo’s still face, as he was longingly holding his gaze at the half-eaten bundle of strings in his bowl. Silently dripping down his cheeks, his tears were not happy ones, nor were they truly sad either. Tired relief, or painful exhaustion that was sinking inside him like water on a raging fire. It seemed like it hurt, and Jinwoo realized he did not know Dongmin that well after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry for how long it took to post this chapter, it was a combination of a lot of schoolwork and me going on a vacation that prevented me from doing it. I will try to get the next one out quicker. Thank you Breezy_Blue for helping me with the chapter^_^


	4. Chapter 4

Jinwoo’s eyelids seemed to slowly unshut by themselves, silently; as if he unbeknownst to himself had a secret desire to study the lines engraving the wooden planks at the base of the bunk above him. Lying uncomfortably straight on his mattress, the duvet seemed to be somehow off no matter which way he turned it. Disturbingly loud, his mind felt as if it was shouting at him relentlessly. A choir of voices at once, yet weirdly he could hear each of them individually in snippets.

This night in particular, Dongmin appeared a great deal within his thoughts. Flashes of their interactions throughout the week sporadically appearing across his mind. The incident a few nights before had unquestionably been frightening to Jinwoo, though eye-opening for him as to who Dongmin actually was. He had been concerned of the man’s state, yes, but he had in his head naively imagined the younger to be this stoic character with a controlled lock on his feelings, fully equipped to handle his own situation without help. In one way, an unreachable person elevated from the rest of the group, just as he seemed to appear publicly in the media.

Admittedly, Jinwoo had looked at Dongmin through the lens of an admirer. The younger man, “Eunwoo”, was a shining star, bursting with talent and charm. Blinding, in a distracting way. View him directly and you would not be able to see anything at all. He was something to enjoy from afar, unsullied, in all his glory, because getting close to such a person would be virtually impossible. Seeing him shine like that, there had always been a portion of jealousy. Nothing big, just an inkling in the back of his mind, itching at the worst of times; with its miniscule, though continuous presence, it was worse than what a singular covetous outburst on Jinwoo’s part could ever be.

However, the stress-filled tears the young man cried into Jinwoo’s rigid shoulder that tired early morning were genuine and heart-breaking, if not even pitiful. His thoughts concerning the younger had been completely washed away by the sound of Dongmin’s hitching breath. Despite being frozen in place, Jinwoo had tried to place his hand reassuringly atop the younger’s back. Yet, the shaking of his fingers was plainly noticeable, and his vision felt slightly muddled. In spite of Jinwoo’s wish to appear dependable and in control, he himself was petrified by a strong unsettling of his own emotions. He had experienced a sudden moment of clarity at this time, realizing something that suddenly felt so palpable once it first made itself past his clouded sense of being. It was a realization that in fact, the one in the wrong had always been himself.

Clearing up the cloudiness and envy that used to fog his vision while gazing at Dongmin, he then saw the cutting image of an overworked young boy poorly dealing with his stress. The skin stretching around the boy’s wrists had been far too dry, and the hair at his neck was starting to thin out in spots. Jinwoo pulled a shuddering breath from deep within his lungs, as a pressure was starting to form, squeezing his chest, and running all the way up to the back of his neck and his forehead. He felt as though he was suffocating, slowly petting the nape of the young man who was shedding tears in Jinwoo’s arms like the young boy that he was. He could hear his own inner voice piercingly cursing at him, echoing thoughts in his loud mind, about his mistakes and reckless petty jealousy, and he felt himself choking up at that. Partly because he knew himself enough to tell what stung most, though predominantly because he felt such remorse about the way he had interpreted a person he sees almost every day, and how incredibly wrong he was. Moreover, he had been wrong in such a harmful way, and he truly despised that about himself.

Jinwoo had assumed that episode a few nights ago would have frozen the two apart, at least a slight bit; either through shame or embarrassment. Surely, Jinwoo had become more vary around the younger the following days, as the sight of him would tense up the elder’s shoulders as self-reproachful thoughts would sneak their way to the front of his mind. Nevertheless, since then, Dongmin had started gravitating around him like a floating moon, or more accurately a comet, showing up for then to disappear again at regular intervals, visibly radiating heat in a brilliant streak as he arrived, and leaving behind a flurry of light. It was a dazzling sight for sure, and though Jinwoo certainly did not understand this sudden fondness, he was glad the younger had lightened up, and he would feel his own smile lingering in the afterimage of their interactions.

As he felt his cheeks hurt a tad from the thoughts he was having, Jinwoo rolled over towards the wall, stirring a squeak from the wooden planks beneath his mattress. Sill for a bit, his eyes remained open as there were no signs of sleepiness anywhere inside him, only an anticipating feeling lingered. Unchanging, the sounds of the dorm, the slow breaths of the other members intermingled with each other and the rattling of the unsleeping city outside, remaining slow and understated, not obstructing the tranquillity of his woken rest as he again pulled at his unsettled covers. He yawned as he heard the light clicking of the front door being unlocked and opened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again Breezy_Blue for helping me with the chapter. It took a while to write, but I’s finally done, and I’m happy how the story is coming along.


	5. Chapter 5

The rustling noises and scuffling of feet lightly sounding throughout their dorm eventually settled down, by the sound of it, outside of his closed door. The other members he shared a room with were sound asleep, and now only their breath could be heard, seeming increasingly louder with the passing time. After a lasting moment, Jinwoo could not tell if it was of minutes or seconds, a slit of light fell upon him from behind. He was still lying facing the wall, and somehow, he could feel the other person’s eyes gazing at him from across the room. Unsure as to why, it stirred a nervous feeling inside of him, causing him to lie still, like a child pretending to sleep when their parent glances through their door at night. The hour and familiar sounds gave him a safe idea as to who it was, though the circumstances tightened the knot in his chest and caused the tensing of his muscles.

The slit widened before disappearing completely with a click. Jinwoo could feel his own pulse amping up with the stark contrast linking the accompanied silence with the sound of steps approaching the edge of his bed. Hushed he could hear the man crouching down by the edge of his bed behind him. Jinwoo closed his eyes. His inner tension took on the flavour of something close to suspense and anticipation as the moment went on, second by second, leaving the air heavy with time. At its passing he could feel some unsettling in the mattress underneath him, as he sensed the other was leaning across it cautiously. A hand was stirring the strands of his hair, carefully and lightly, almost unnoticeable at first, had it not been for the fact that he was aware of the other’s presence.

“Jinwoo hyung…” Dongmin’s quiet voice sounded questioning, and Jinwoo felt the ought to turn and face the other, but his nervousness kept him still and tense, breath hitching a bit, turning shallower due to the tautness gathering at the top of his chest. Selfishly, his pride would not allow him to let Dongmin know he had been lying awake, and he did not feel he could endure any questions at the moment as to why, so he kept unmoving. Still, he wondered what time it was, and what had brought the younger to come to him at this time. When returning this late, Jinwoo felt bothered the other did not spend this time sleeping, in regards to his continuous extended workdays. This slight inkling of worry in his mind overrode his urge to keep his pride. And so, when the man persisted in stirring Jinwoo, lightly gripping his shoulder and pressing it gently towards himself, Jinwoo could not help but let himself fall onto his back, following the motion of Dongmin’s hand and opening his eyes in the process. Dongmin’s face looked tired, fully and wholly, shaded by the fog-like darkness surrounding them. His eyes were slack, and despite his warm expression, there was a clear sense of exhaustion, even depression to his entire being.

“…What?” Jinwoo’s questioning voice came out like porridge, blinking clouds away from his eyes. He could tell Dongmin’s eyes widened a bit as he prepared to speak, like what he was about to say hurt him in a way, and he did not realize until now. Jinwoo propped himself up on his elbows, face soft and open. Without much hesitation, the younger spoke.

“Hyung.” His eyes unconsciously drifted, but he hurriedly forced his gaze back at the older. “I’m tired.”, the voice did not sound desperate, nor definitive. Rather, the man in a way sounded like he was asking for something. Asking, not because he wanted it, but because he needed it. Jinwoo’s brows knitted as he studied Dongmin’s face closely, without actually seeing anything. Rather, his thoughts were scattered and rushing, fogging over his sight.

Before he even had time to realize it, Jinwoo found himself being pulled against the other man; their chests meeting, and arms not roughly, but with firmness wrapping around him. A heavy sigh shakily tussled the hair at the back of Jinwoo’s neck, blowing gently in his ear. Though immediately tensing up, weirdly he was not startled nor suffocated by the younger’s sudden action. Admittedly he was surprised, but at the same time Jinwoo could feel himself relenting fully of the tightness in his body, bringing a hand to settle at the back of the youngers head, strands stiffened with hairspray bending underneath his fingers. There was something about Dongmin’s expression that opened all his doors, like the man had a special key that he himself thought was lost, or did not exist at all. The way Dongmin’s eyes were singing to him quietly, wearily, but with a warm flavour that told him of the other’s sincerity, he could not help but to return the embrace. Huddling closer, he lifted his other arm from the mattress to give the other, pressing his nose into the neck of the man’s shirt. The scent of their bathroom soap, mixed with Dongmin’s own personal scent felt nice with the sense of his fingers tight against his back, like urging to clench the fabric of Jinwoo’s shirt.

“It’s fine.” Jinwoo lets go for a bit, lifting his duvet slightly, heat quickly escaping and rushing away and clashing with the chill air in the room. “It’s late anyway”

Silently, Dongmin shuffles fully onto the bed, joining the older in making up for the warmth that escaped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m very sorry about how long this took to write. I have the typical excuses for this like school and work (and procrastination), but also, I felt really awkward about writing this. Even though I write pairings with all my stories, this is my first full on romance. I did not expect to feel this weird about it, but here we are. It was quite difficult for me to write, and I hope I didn’t make it too creepy. Out of all the chapters, this one is the one I want feedback on the most, because I really don’t know how to feel about what I wrote. Thank you for sticking with me till now, and please tell me what you think!


End file.
